What is Positive Psychology Coaching and why is it helpful?
Every one of us sees the world from one perspective only - our own eyes. A skill developed by many great people is that of perspective taking - seeing the world as if from the eyes of another. Emotional intelligence relies on our ability to to see things from others perspectives, and to manage our own emotions accordingly, and it’s one of the clearest hallmarks of an effective leader.
In order to do really any of this at any level of sophistication, we have to appreciate that our perspective of the world is not a perfect view. We each bring our own interpretations, bias, assumptions, and values to the ways we see the world. These have, in turn, shaped the ways that we understand the world. It drives all of our habits and patterns of behavior - for better or worse. It’s like looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses - we have to recognize the tint of the rose and account for it when understanding what we see through them.
One of the ways we can better understand our brains is through Positive Psychology tools. Think of psychology as having two broad branches. One is the study of disorders: things that go ‘wrong’ with our brains, our behavior, thoughts, and feelings. This is what many of us typically picture when we think about ‘a psychologist’ - someone who ‘helps us fix things that have gone wrong with our brains’.
The other broad branch is the study of things that are ‘right’ with the brain. Rather than looking at problems or shortcomings, it’s more about looking at superpowers and capabilities. Positive psychology is the study of natural inclinations and tendencies, sometimes also called talents, strengths, aptitudes, etc.. Some of us can easily remember the names and faces of people we met only once years earlier, while others struggle to remember the name of the person who just introduced themselves a few minutes ago. Some people can easily adapt to unexpected changes in a day, rearranging their lives with little effort and low stress, while others can feel thrown into total disarray by unexpected changes. Some people like taking risks, others do not. We are all born with capabilities that show up very easily for us and we often don’t realize they are hard for others.
Positive psychology tools and assessment are designed to help people get a snapshot of how their brain is wired, the tint of their rose glasses if you will. With an understanding of these tendencies we can start to describe ourselves to ourselves. E.g.
I tend to find it easy to remember names and faces.
I tend to struggle when my plans change unexpectedly.
I’m inclined to take risks.
I’m inclined to say yes when someone asks for help.
Sitting in behind each of these tendencies or inclinations is the complex web of activity in our brains. It can relate to our skills, experiences, sense of self, our beliefs about ourselves, concepts of what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ etc etc. Trying to better understand these inclinations and tendencies is the work of Positive Psychology.
It’s important to highlight that the results of these self-assessments are not necessarily 'the truth' or 'right'; instead they are a reflection of how you understand yourself. Just like how a map is not the same thing as the terrain it represents, the results of these assessments are not necessarily the terrain of your mind. They can help you explore your mind, but the maps alone cannot necessarily give you answers of what’s actually happening.
Just like how terrain can have pitfalls and cliffs, so too can our natural inclinations. A natural tendency to take risks can be very helpful in some contexts, and very damaging in others. As can a natural inclination to help others. Left unchecked, our natural inclinations can lead to patterns of bahavior in our lives or relationships that don’t serve us or the people around us very well. For many, positive psychology tools can cast a new light persistent challenges in their lives - turning perceived ‘weaknesses’ into new sourced of strength.
Working with a positive psychology coach can be a profoundly beneficial thing for a lot of people, as it gives them insight into and language for things that they often know about themselves but haven’t been able to really understand or make sense of. Learning new skills or shaking off old habits is often made easier - it’s a bit like building a new structure with a clear view of the ground where it was previously hidden.